Lose Yourself

"The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have." -Norman Vincent Peale

The universe is expanding at this very moment. And this one. And this one. And every moment it expands, it comes closer to the moment when it will collapse in on itself to begin anew. The exhausting, amazing largeness of existence is immeasurable. Imagine a geometric plane of empty black space going on in every direction forever. It's terrifying; it's incredible. It makes me feel weightless and scattered and grounded and ephemeral.

I am an amoeba on the speck of dust that is the earth, in the raindrop that is the galaxy, in the neverending, all-encompassing universe.


I am a finite creature in an infinite space; I exist solely for the moment of my existence. How radically cool is that? How incredibly awesome (in the original sense of the word) is this world we live in?


So often, we focus on the terrible things that happen - which is important. We should look the terror and pain of life straight in the metaphorical face, if only for the sake of trying for a moment to absorb some of that terror and pain from those in crises. See and act. Yes. But then open your eyes wider. There is nothing wrong with looking for the miracles of life when faced with so much human suffering.


We live in a world where ants raise aphids as pets, sheltering them from the rain with leaves and herding them from tree to tree. We live in a world where creatures communicate with songs. We live in a world where it's been proven that bacteria can make complex decisions. We live in a world where two objects, regardless of their size and weight, fall at the same speed. Just think about the wondrous complexity that surrounds us.


Humans can fly to the moon, we can sail on the sea, we can do anything and everything we put our mushy gray minds to - eventually.


In the wake of the tragedy in Haiti, I think it's incredibly important that we all remember that. We are capable of anything. We, as a species, have survived worse tragedies and will do again - because we act as a community. We survive as a community.


So do what you can: donate cash or goods to UNICEF, to CARE, Yele Haiti, the Red Cross, World Food Program, Doctors Without Borders, Habitat for Humanity, the International Rescue Committee, or any other reputable relief organization. And don't stop there. There are people in need right here; spend a day at a soup kitchen, help build a house, be a mentor, be a friend.


Today, I pledge to let my heart open and join with those who are struggling today, in Haiti and closer to home.  And then, I pledge to remember those infinitesimal, decision-making bacteria and the astounding, glory-inducing cosmos.


Lose yourself to this incredible, inexplicable world with me. We'll make a moment of it.

Today

Light looked down and saw darkness. "I will go there," said Light. Peace looked down and saw war. "I will go there," said Peace. Love looked down and saw hatred. "I will go there," said Love.

Today, I welcome them all and invite them to sit by my fake fire with me and ask them very nicely to spend all of the coming year by my side.

Merry Christmas, friends. And happy new year.

Winter Thoughts

The thing that I love most about winter, I think, is that it makes me feel the same way I feel when I'm praying. I feel cold on the outside and warm on the inside, with just that tinge of shiver, and the knowledge that something larger than me is around me, pressing in on me, making me part of it.

I was raised Presbyterian. I'm not sure how other denominations handle their weekly ceremonies, but in the small, cozy churches I'm used to, we take time each Sunday to 'pass the peace' - a tradition that I've always enjoyed, though for different reasons over the years. As a child, it was fun to meet new people; older now, I always try to pass along a little of my inner joy to the people around me in those quick moments. Today, however, as we greeted our neighbors and introduced ourselves to strangers, listening to the hymn play in the background and saying 'peace be with you' and 'also with you', I had a whole new 'ta da' moment. Peace be with you.

It's a concept that's always been a talking point in the Christian faith, and has often been seen from the outside as a mockery and a hypocrisy. After all, looking at the history of Christianity, there isn't much peace-spreading to see. Wars against other creeds, wars between different denominations of Christians, religious persecution and torture - not very peaceful.

Of course, those aspects of what we consider 'religious fervor' are more representations of human nature than anything else. We fear what we don't understand; and then we seek to either eradicate or control that thing we fear.

Fear is something I deal with all the time, on many different levels. I fear the idea of being alone, I fear persecution and ridicule, I fear failure, I even fear certain individuals; and generally, I'm ashamed to admit, my first reaction when faced with those fears is a quick spurt of anger, lashing out against whoever brings it to my attention (and, my worst habit, lashing out at myself in an attempt to spare the people around me). But anger doesn't kill fear. Generally, it only adds fodder to the fire, placing me in situations when I learn greater fears and worse feelings.

So, peace be with you. Why not? When there's fear and anger lurking on the edges of me, making my shoulders tight and my stomach twist - why not succumb, take a breath, and offer peace to those who need it? I don't mean go up to a stranger and say 'peace be with you'. I mean, offer a helping hand to someone who needs it, give someone a part of yourself - time, a listening ear, a hug. As they say in Avenue Q, 'helping others brings you closer to God' - maybe it does. Have you ever helped someone out of generosity, without seeking something in return, and felt anything but wonderful?

As Christmas draws near (religious or non religious - your choice) and the hussle-bustle of shopping and wrapping, decorating and socializing, sweeps us all into a frenzy - take a breath. Slow down. Relax. Give some of yourself along with those brightly wrapped things. Breath in your own personal peace and breathe it out again, offering that moment of calm to those that need it. I will be trying to do the same.

Let us laugh at ourselves more freely, love each other more generously, and revel in the miracle of life and rebirth that is present in every heart during the winter season, whatever our religious persuasion. Peace be with you.

Finding Your Holiday Harmony

While the winter holiday season fills me with the happy, cozy comfort of being wrapped in a big fuzzy waterproof blanket in the middle of a field of snow, it can also be a very stressful time. Every year, I hear stories about people picketing stores for their use of 'Merry Christmas' rather than something more generic, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, people ridiculing the season because of its 'over-commercialization'.

Folks, please. Can't we all just get along? As I've stated previously, every winter festival and holiday that I have seen shares one common theme - togetherness. Every culture, every religion, bans together to celebrate what they, as a separate cultural group, have in common with each other. Why can't we simply expand this generous theme to include people of other backgrounds and creeds? We are all of us humans, all with the same muscles, organs, blood, and bone. We are all mortal. We are all people. Instead of trying to ban one religion or another from the mix, why not embrace (or at the very least tolerate) all of them?

Without any religious bent, the winter season is traditionally a time when we, as mortal animals, have to ban together against the dangers of a growth-less season, sharing our food, our shelter, and our company so that we all survive to the planting time. Now, today, we have supermarkets and home delivery, but I don't think there's any harm in embracing that original instinct that fueled the creation of all these festivals for all these different cultures. Love. Embrace. Welcome. Share.

Another stressor of the holiday season is shopping. Oh, gracious, going to a store in December is liable to make anyone's hair turn gray. So if you're out there with your arms full of stuff, hyperventilating and getting a pressure headache right between your eyes- Stop. Relax. What you are getting and how fast you get it are not the point. Remember what the meaning of the season is. Togetherness. This does not only apply to your togetherness with others. It means your togetherness with yourself as well. Don't fall apart.

One thing that I do not think can be denied about the human race is this: we are empathetic creatures. If we are faced with anger, we get angry; if we're faced with frustration, we get frustrated. (And we wonder why so many belief systems have ideas like 'turn the other cheek'?) Be brave! Rise against the tide of seasonal stress. Someone may shove you or yell at you because they haven't given themselves those special, solitary moments in the bustle to center and calm, but you don't have to respond in kind.

Keep yourself together so that you can be together with the people you love. They will be much happier with you as a whole than they could be with anything you might give them with your hair on end - no one wants a present from the Bride of Frankenstein.

My favorite season

It's that time of year again. The air has that delicious bite of chill that sends a shiver down my spine and a spurt of warmth into my heart. It makes me want to wear three sweaters, hunker down in my kitchen, and cook like there's no tomorrow. Everywhere I look, I am reminded of just how wonderful people can be. I am so very blessed to have good friends, old and new, and a fountain full of love to splash around in this holiday season.

Whatever your religious beliefs, is there anything more energizing and exciting than this time of year? Nature is reminding us that another year has come to a close. Now is the time to think back on everything that has passed since the last time we shivered this much; to be thankful for what we have loved and to change what has hurt us.

This is the season of Giving. Can you imagine? An entire month, from November 25th to December 25th, specifically devoted to being grateful for the gifts in our lives and repaying them by giving to others? An entire season of celebrating togetherness? How fantastic is that?

There have been several traditions at work around the winter season. To name a few:
Christmas, a story of new birth and new hope; Hanukkah, a tale of victory and faith; Bodhi Day, a celebration of enlightenment; Kwanzaa, a tribute to harvest and cultural identity; and Saturnalia, a festival of joy, gift giving, and playfulness. All positive, hopeful festivals of light and community. In a time of year that is darker and colder than any other, humans come together to celebrate the strength they have when they all work together.

Let us be kinder, let love be contagious, let forgiveness abound, let giving be a yearlong philosophy, and let dreams be immeasurable.

Happy Holidays!

I recently had a moment when I felt afraid to speak my mind. This edge of the abyss ‘should I speak or should I go’ sensation is uncomfortable. These moments happen all the time, to everyone, on a variety of subjects. But I think the worst is when it happens with someone you love - and you don’t feel secure enough in your relationship with them to open up. Not even about something that worries you deeply.

I was taught from the time I was very young that people are people - regardless of their race, gender, religion, or whatever other discriminatory marker people choose to employ. I believe this with all of my heart. Unfortunately, these days, due to all of the media hooplah and political teeth gnashing, some of the people who instilled this magnanimous belief system in me in my boot up days have begun to make audible exceptions to this otherwise all encompassing rule. Now I hear that discriminating against people with alternate sexual preferences is considered ‘okay’ because 'people have a right to their opinion’. 

I’m sorry, but no. It’s not okay. 

I don't disagree that everyone has a right to their own opinion; of course they do. And I would never claim to know absolutely what’s right for someone else, or what they should and should not believe. But there is a very large difference between voicing an opinion and spitting poison. Whether or not you agree with a gay person’s right to marry (or even admit their own personal preferences aloud), it still does not give you the right to be verbally abusive towards them. 

People should be treated with respect and love. 

I don’t consider this a ‘liberal’ belief. I believe that it's a human one. I hope it is, anyway. I would hate to think a person’s politics have that big of an influence over the depth of their compassion.

When you’re following a recipe, one wrong ingredient can throw the whole dish. Too much salt, an under-ripe avocado, a timer off by ten minutes - there’s a balance and a necessity for at least semi-conscious attention to be paid.

Why is it so difficult, then, for us to take that extra moment to make sure we aren’t burning our relationships? Love and respect can shrink behind worry and fear with just a few words of hate, leaving behind a pile of shriveled carbon on the ruined baking dish of a previously rewarding and inspiring personal relationship. 

And the person who uses the hateful language isn’t the only one to blame in these situations. The rest of us, who sit idly by, letting the words be said without doing anything are equally as culpable. And it is our shame at our own lack of courage to speak up against such things that truly closes the deal. 


That's the case, anyway, for me.


I feel shamed for not raising my hand and saying 'please do not use that language around me, it's offensive'. I feel sad because I felt so adrift and alone that I couldn't say that to people I should have been fearless and welcomed with. I never want to feel that way again.


I'll close this up, because I realize it's just emotional yakking and no one's probably read this far anyway. I just want to put this out into the world, so that it exists somewhere other than the inside of my head: I've forgiven the people who spoke so caustically. I have yet to forgive myself. I'm not sure when I will.


We are all on this earth together, walking the road to death together, breathing each breath and creating each life, giving and teaching love. Why is it so very hard for some people to let love be their guide rather than hate? What's the point?


Anyway. I'm done.